Thursday Funny

Legos!

You know how much we love our Legos. Here is a fun little YouTube find starring the awesomely spectacular little toys:

Why E Sucks... The Saga

Its no secret that we've been absent lately. Here's a little excerpt of why:

"A few years ago I tore a disc in my back. Typically, these things self-correct and heal over time. In typical Erin fashion, mine did not. Instead of healing, it continued to get worse. I tried Epidural Steroid Injections, Disc Decompression, yoga, massage, physical therapy, and good old-fashioned narcotics. Nothing worked. Apparently, my tendency to be a pain in the arse goes all the way down to a cellular level. I am a freakshow...."

I've been journaling my experiences with my Regenexx treatments over at my other website, if you're interested, you can read here for more information. I've been very blessed to live close to some amazing medical care. I'm very excited to be getting my back fixed without surgery. Although this has been not without pain (and a lot of money I don't have), I really feel that it will be worth it!

We Suck

Yes, Bones and I are aware of how much we suck at updating this site. I am currently swamped, both in "real life" and at work, and Bones is about a week away from having a computer again for updating posts. Not excuses, we're just letting y'all know that we are aware of our suck, and are committed to righting it. Just not today :)
We hope to get back on track with posting within the next few weeks. Just bear with us, we'll make it worth your time -whaddaya need for it to be worth it? Cute animal photos, snarky writings, random funnies? We'll be coming back with all of the above. Soon!
In the meantime, enjoy some photos of cute furry things:

Sometimes I Just Have To Remind Myself...

Worst Best Man

I am SO glad that my wedding went smoothly, and that I still adore our best man -Thank You, Tyler, you were wonderful!
This guy? Not so much:

Worst Best Man Ever @ Yahoo! Video

Fabulous Parenting Idea

I was reading one of my favorite blogs today, Redneck Mommy, and felt compelled to pass on a bit of her wisdom. I do not yet have children of my own, but am in the process of gathering an arsenal of creative ideas for torturing my children whenever they should arrive.
In one of her archived posts on punishment, the lovely Mommy mentioned a story where her son damaged her pantry door. Instead of morphing into a banshee and screeching at the child, she had her son pay for the door out of his own fundage and write an essay on what he had done. Nothing too crazy here, right?

Here is where the brilliance kicks in: She is compiling these essays for her lovely son into a book to present to him when he has a family of his own. Not only will he suffer through the writing of the essay, but again later, when his kids get to read through it. Oh, how kids LOVE to hear about their parents misdeeds as children.

I just got back from a trip to where my own parents grew up, and loved every minute spent with their siblings and friends, hearing about what they did as kids. (I was sad, however, to find that I was nowhere near as "cool" as my parents. They got away with a LOT more than I did!) It was great, my family laughing, me openmouthed, and my mom justifying why it was okay back then to party in some unsuspecting farmer's cornfield. Hmm, maybe I'll interview some family members, and make my parents some books of their own. Whaddaya think, mom?

Insanity

Just got back from a week in Wisconsin to visit family -lots to write about, but not enough time right now. Here's a teaser: new babies, old feuds, an afternoon at the hospital, and a great day on the lake enjoying the fall colors. And to top it all off, we came home to a busted water heater and a wet crawl space. Oh, the joys of adulthood...

Whew, I'm getting exhausted at the thought of things. I need a Valium.

DJ

It has been a whole year, and we still miss you every day. I still hurt just as bad today as that horrible day a year ago. I am so sorry I couldn't help you.
We wish you were here, buddy.
We Love you so much DJ.

I got DJ my sophomore year of college, and he took care of me for eight and a half years. Through college, a variety of living situations, jobs, and friendships, he was there for me every day with that amazing personality that only Golden Retrievers seem to have. He had more attitude and touched more lives than any dog I've ever known. Just a few short weeks after my wedding, we lost him much too early. We miss him so, so much.

I've Realized...

That I'm not voting for the McCain/Palin trainwreck.
Didn't really plan on voting for these two anyways, but this has sealed my decision.
Redwings? Really? I don't think so.

Image courtesy of CNN

One More Day...

Tomorrow is the big day... I'm donating ALL OF MY HAIR to Locks of Love or a like organization. The good person in me is excited to be a part of something that is bigger than I am, but the vain Parker Girl in me is a little nervous about losing all of my hair.
I have a love/hate relationship with my long hair. When I actually take the time to do something with it, I love it. Most days though? It ends up in a giant knot on top of my head. Not a good look, but it is easy. Short hair can be so adorable and fun if it is done right. My problem? My face is a perfect circle. If this isn't done right, I'm gonna look even rounder than I am now. Not a good look. Luckily, I have the most amazing, gifted stylist EVER, and I'm counting on her to make me look fabulous. No pressure though. If anyone has any suggestions for cute cuts, you've got 24 hours to post them in the comments!
Because I have no shame, I have added a "before" photo. Please note that this was taken tonight after a very hectic workday. It looked a lot better about 10 hours ago! If the results are good, I'll try to get some photos tomorrow to share. Keep your fingers crossed!

Meltdown Update

Alright folks, its been nearly a week since my "poor me" tantrum, just thought I'd post a little update.

I've been doing my back exercises religiously, accepted a new position at work (more on that after the announcement is made), got TWO new pairs of sassy boots from Prince Charming, put my costume together for this year's Race For The Cure (go Pink Pirates!), and have for some odd reason decided that I need a stripper pole for "exercise" in my house. All in all, a pretty good week.

I am very aware and a little worried that the good vibes are coming from all of the "new" going on. I am one of those people that is recharged by new. New job, new shoes, new makeup, new clothes... See where I'm going here? Luckily, the upcoming weeks involve lots of "new" for me. Next week I will start with my new at work, and I'm cutting FOURTEEN INCHES off of my hair to donate to someone who has lost their hair because of chemo. I'm heading over the mountains to Denver for a week of the Race For The Cure, a visit with my new neurologist, a conference for my new position and only two days at home to regroup before a trip to Wisconsin to see family.

I am a little concerned about what happens when all that craziness slows down, but for now, I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy the crazy. For some reason, when life is crazy, I'm a bit more sane.

As If You Didn't See This Coming...

Well, after my "rah-rah-go-me" girl power post yesterday I freaked out. Lost. My. Shit. Who didn't see that coming?

One minute, we're cleaning up the house, the next minute I'm sobbing on the floor because my husband made a crack about me being lame and I took it as an attack on my character. Not cool.

My husband wrote down some things that I said in the height of my little crash to rock bottom for me, and I thought I would share:

• I feel worthless
• I am a burden to this family
• I feel like giving up
• I hurt all the time
  
• I don't want to try anymore

Wow, you'd think that someone that went to school for psychology would've seen some of these textbook warning signs. Unfortunately, it took my husband writing this down and making me read it out loud to realize that my mind is in a very ugly place. Until my mind is in a good place, my body is not going to get better.

Long story short, I spent an hour or two sobbing on the floor before my husband talked me into putting my big girl panties back on and righting myself. I've given myself 60 days to start liking myself a little bit better, or I'll suck it up and ask for help beyond what my ever-supportive family and friends are giving me.

After a lot of snotty sniffling and soul searching, my ever-amazing husband came up with a new list for me. I am to do the following:

• Do my back exercises three times a day
• Spend 15 minutes a day of quiet time to re-focus on my determination to get better
• Pick up my shit around the house
• Ask for help
• Stay focused (0n getting better)

He is going to do everything else. I am no longer allowed to feel guilty that he is doing the laundry, mowing the lawn, or lifting heavy things.

Sounds pretty easy, right? Unfortunately, dealing with chronic pain is exhausting. It can make the simplest of tasks seem daunting. You start out well, with a positive attitude and a smile on your face. You can't do it all, but you can hold your own. Life is pretty good. Things start getting overlooked at home, but the important things get taken care of. You're tired, and a little stressed, but you manage. Soon, little things start piling up, you start feeling helpless, and it all builds until it all comes crashing down. By the end, it is too much to even get out of bed fifteen minutes earlier to do my hair. It sounds silly, but sometimes, that is the straw. The cycle I'm on seems to last about six months. The positive side? At least every six months I start over with a smile on my face and a renewed sense of faith.

Today, life is good, and my hair looks great.

All The Things You Never Needed To Know

This website was started with several goals in mind, the most important one being therapy. Not for the unfortunate souls who stumble upon this site, but for the two brilliant minds behind it.

We have spent countless hours entertaining, supporting, and laughing at each other, and felt that a blog might be a good place for us to dump all of our random mutterings. Somewhere that we could save and share all of our hilarious thoughts, stories, and photos. On a more serious side, we also thought writing things down would be good therapy and help make us better writers. Nothing personal, dear Internet, but this was all selfish, and to hell with you if you didn't like it.

Obviously, we hope that some of the things that we rant and rave about will entertain those of you out there, especially if you're so entertained that you feel compelled to click on an ad. Ultimately, we'd love to be able to thank this website for a night out on the town or a new pair of shoes (*wink, wink*).

On a more serious note, writing has always been a way for me to work out what I'm feeling, get things out, and move on. Unfortunately, the past year of my life has been extremely emotionally and physically trying, and I've looked to this site more for levity than therapy. Lucky for you all, today I've decided to take my life back, which means that hopefully, I'll be writing more around here that makes people want to visit this site on a regular basis (and maybe even click some ads! think of the shoes, people!) and get to know Bones and myself a little better. I figure if I'm gonna be sharing my deepest, darkest thoughts (and of course, the most shallow, don't worry, there is an abundance of shallow in my head these days) that y'all might want to know a little bit about who I am. If you don't, quit reading.

I think part of the problem I've had with really getting going with my writing on this site is that I have a very hard time defining "me" so that is where I'm going to start.

Today I am in a productive, list-making kind of mood, so I'm just gonna start typing and see where this goes.

• I am a 28 year old mom to two of the awesomest dogs ever.
• I am married to a man who's idol is Peter Pan. I love this about him.
• I am an unrecognized princess. Ask anyone who knows me, they're cool with it.
• I am (usually) the good kind of crazy.
• I hate doing laundry.
  
• I have the greatest friends. Ever.
• I love shopping, I could turn a convenience store outing into a retail experience.
• I'm not very good at being organized.
  
• I'm lucky enough to be called "auntie" by two (soon to be three!) of the coolest kids ever.
• I have a bad back. At 28. It is trying to take over my life, but I'm not gonna let it.
• I love love love to travel. Anywhere. I don't just want to see the world, I want to experience it.
• I love to cook for the people I love. Must be the maternal instinct in me. Give me a tormented soul, and I'll pull up a chair and some comfort food.
• I'm an amateur photographer. Better than my writing, thank goodness.
• I've been slapped in the face with a pickle. A real pickle. We'll talk about it sometime.
• In the last year, I've gotten married, lost one of my best friends, had surgery, gained some new friends, gotten promoted, met new family members, and helped complete some major construction projects at home. Its been a busy year.
• I still haven't taken a honeymoon. That is going to be a priority this year.
• I have an iPhone and I love it.
• I may be a little addicted to MySpace and Twitter.
• I love rice krispie treats just as much as creme brulee.
  
• Sometimes I still need my mom.
• I love books. All kinds. If you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments. I will read them.
• I believe that you can never have too many friends or too much time to spend with them.
• When I have a bad day, I buy shoes online. I also get shoes if I'm a good girl at the doctor.
  
• I spend a lot of time at the doctor. It is emotionally and financially draining.
• I love sparkly things.
• I am a natural blonde.
• My husband may be a saint. He has spent endless hours driving me to various doctor appointments, comforting me when I'm scared, and picking up the slack at home when I can't get out of bed. He even gets me ice packs for my ass. Isn't that sweet?
  
• I believe that honesty and good manners will get you far in life.
• Pedicures make me feel pretty.
  
• I love lazy Sunday mornings with my family.
• I can be selfish, irrational, and moody. I promise if you stick around you'll also see that I'm caring, generous, and fun.
• I want to be a mom someday.
• 
• I am terrified of failing my loved ones.
• I hurt, every day. It is exhausting.
  
• Sometimes I say I'm okay when I hurt, because I think people are tired of hearing about how I'm feeling all the time.
• I love good tequila.
• I hate being cold, but I love getting snowed in with my hubby.
• Coffee is worth its weight in gold in my house.
• I love the beach.
• I live in the mountains.
  
• As I get older, I find more value in staying in with a few good friends than in a wild night out on the town. (although, the wild nights do have their place...)

I am hoping that throwing this out there will open me up to picking a point and writing about it. Any and all feedback is always appreciated. If you're an asshole, I reserve the right to ridicule, mock, or delete any crappy comments I don't like. This is my website, if you don't like it, don't come back. If you do like it, I'll try to make it worth your while.

Yaar, Bitches!

Ahoy, mateys! Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so grab a jug 'o grog and brush up on the lingo! (if you have trouble with that, check out the TLPD Translator!)

I myself plan to make it a short day at the office today to get an early start on my evening of plunder and pillage!

Free Handbag Giveaway!

A new website, Handbag Planet, is being launched on October 15th, and they are giving away a free handbag every hour for 24 hours on the day of the launch! The bags are designs that are inspired by popular designer brands, and are priced between $30 and $80, so even if you don't win a bag, this site is a great place to get cute bags without breaking the bank!

After signing up, you select which bag you'd like to win -no strings attached. I have tried the submission process, and everything seems pretty clear. Sign up, hope to win a bag!

There are some adorable bags up for grabs, good luck to everyone!

One Down, 75(ish) More To Go...

We made it through our first year! YAY!


Congratulations, Team Jones.

I've Realized...

My body is not as tough as it used to be.

Somebody Play With Me!!

Once upon a time, there was a sleepy snail named Jim.

Jim:








Jim had Labor Day off from work, but volunteered to earn some extra cash. They fed Jim pizza for lunch, and it was very tasty. However, Jim was the most very bored snail in the whole office and desperately wanted his snail friends to email him. Too bad Jim’s friends all had the day off. Poor Jim.
Yes. This is how incredibly under-stimulated I am today!
WHERE IS EVERYBODY??

Count Your Blessings

Sometimes there are days that clarify everything. All of the crap from work, the annoyances of traffic, the chaos of a typical morning gone awry... these are things that some people would give anything to be able to bitch about, in retrospect. It's usually not until after the fact that you appreciate being 20 minutes late to work, and realizing that it wasn't such a bad start to the day afterall.

There was a fatal car accident this morning near my home.

http://www.9news.com/news/local/article.aspx?storyid=98602&catid=346

The news said it had been a hit and run, the person responsible for the death of another human being had fled the scene and was at large, possibly somewhere in the huge state park across the street.So people see this story on the news, yeah, that sucks, blah blah, the roads are blocked off, "now I'm gonna be late for work! ugh!" A lot were probably angry at the other driver. Probably not many were able to truly empathize with those who weren't at the scene at all.Unless you've been a family member or friend on the other end of the phone call about your loved one being the one in the car, the one that won't be making it to work to bitch about his or her boss, you simply cannot understand the magnitude of panic, the sheer debilitating fear, the rush of "OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT". The feeling of 'surely there must be some mistake- this wasn't supposed to happen!' before the realization, the impact of the information that you have to process through your brain, and somehow make your mind function, your body take action, to DO SOMETHING. You will find out just how MUCH you would trade for everything to be okay, just how determind you can pray in those moments when the outcome is uncertain.

Several years ago, my sister was in a very bad car accident. She survived, Thank God, and she is without permanent injury today by nothing short of a miracle. However, she had been critically hurt, the entire left side of her body-from her skull to her shin- pretty mangled. Cracked skull, swelling on the brain, broken orbital bone, broken collar bone, broken ribs... I'll stop, you get the picture. She was in unspeakable pain. She had been hit by a driver that had run a stop sign. That person did not in any way intend to have this happen, he simply intended to get home to his family. My sister was in the hospital for almost a month, over Thanksgiving. Talk about being reminded about how thankful we should be for the things we take for granted far too often. The lives and health of our loved ones being at the top of that list. But also, being thankful for just your typical crappy day... usually in a week you can't remember what had ticked you off so badly anyway.

The next time you see a newscast that throws a wrench in your plans for the day, please remember 2 things... the first, that actions you take may affect others in ways you cannot even fathom, and the second, when you see something like this, remember the victims. Remember their families. Be thankful you are not getting that phone call today. Sometimes, your shitty day... is really a blessing.