Thursday, August 14, 2008

I Think She May Be Planning To Eat Me...

So, I'm staying up at my dad's awesome house up in the mountains. Attached to his house is an apartment that he rents out occasionally. Right now, there is a very sweet couple staying in the apartment while the husband does some work up here. The wife appears to be staying in the apartment during the day.

We got up here yesterday, and I've been telecommuting, so I'm here all day, but not really "here" -like I'm ever really "here". Oh well, lets pretend.

I ran into the wife (who we'll call Sweet Lady from now on, since I already forgot her name because I am an asshole) shortly after I arrived, and we did some hilarious language-barrier-introduction-type thing with each other -you know the kind, where both people smile and nod like they know what the hell the other one is talking about, when really, we're each picking up about a fifth of what the other is saying. Luckily, her English is better than my Spanglish, so there were a few words that got through between the over-pronounced smiles and hand gestures.

Within 15 minutes of our introduction, she was knocking on the door with a frothy beverage in a cocktail glass. It was 11 am. Now, I am not one to be rude and refuse a gesture of friendship, so I accepted the beverage and went back to work. Unfortunately, the "cocktail" was just a smoothie, but it was wonderful, so I'll let it slide. Thanks, SL, for keeping me from drinking before noon!

A few short hours later, she was again knocking, asking if I'd like lunch. The only words I really understood were "cheese, stuff, comida, food, pretty, lunch, yum, and you like?" but she got the message across. Unfortunately, I had just eaten, so I turned down her request while pointing at the telephone because I had a conference call that I had to be on.

Ever the trooper that she is, she was back again before I was out of bed today. By the time I got to the door, she was gone.

I figured by then she'd have given up, but just now, she was back. This time, she brought a plate, shoved it in my face and said "Comida. Lunch. Hope you like!" with a big smile. I'd just eaten, but took the plate anyway, and thanked her. She then looked at my dogs and said "LOVE THE PUPPIES! You eat. Good. Bueno." We again did some huge hand gestures and smiles, and went to our respective corners.

I feel bad, because I've got to work while I'm here, and I'm really not sure if she wants to hang out because she is bored, or if she is trying to fatten me up so she can feed me to her husband for dinner....

Good thing my pain meds don't make me paranoid or anything...


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