Thank Goodness

After one of the most bad news filled weeks EVER, I'm happy to say that VH1 is featuring "The Top 100 Songs From The 80's". (Think Madonna, Men at Work, Debbie Gibson, and more!)

Nothing like bad clothes and even worse hair to bring a smile to my face on a tough day. Thank you VH1.

What's Your Therapy?

After an extremely trying week last week, I spent my Saturday doing things that were all about me. I slept in, I painted my toenails, I played with the dogs, I spent a few hours on the phone with some amazingly supportive friends, and I watched bad TV -all while consuming about half a pot of coffee. While I was flipping through the channels feeling sorry for myself for not being able to save the world, I came across Elizabethtown. It seemed like a cute movie, so I sat down for a watch.
That movie was apparently the start to my therapy for the weekend. I won't ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it, but there is a very sweet part at the end that made me cry a little. That little 5 minute part that made me cry a little was all it took to open the floodgates on a week's worth of big time stress. Thank you for that, Elizabethtown.
I cried for a good hour, and got it all out. After that cry, I picked myself up off the floor, gave myself a little talking to about how I am completely incapable of saving the world all by myself, and got on with my day. Removing that weight from my shoulders (that I had placed there all on my own) was exactly what I needed to get on with what turned out to be a good weekend. Turns out that cry was just what I needed. Well, that and a new pair of shoes.
What does it for you when you're down? Do you cry? Punch a wall? Bottle it all up?
What is your therapy?

Friday Funny

True. So so true. After a very long day yesterday (you may have heard about the tornadoes in Colorado on the news) we could all use a good laugh!!

WTF is Wrong With People?

"Boyfriend busted for leaving tot locked in car while he hits strip club"

I sure hope this kid's mom dumped this loser on his ass. Who does this? Apparently, the mom of a 3-year-old gave her boyfriend $20 to take her daughter to dinner while she was at work. Instead, this ass locked the kid in the car, only cracking a window while he stopped in at Shotgun Willie's for a lapdance. The best part? He used the kid's dinner money to pay his admission.

How do you even teach people this stupid?

Give Up The Summer Goods!

So, I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm not nearly as cool as I used to be. Maybe given the opportunity, I could exude some coolness again, but nothing will ever top the cool factor of the time I broke into the YMCA in the middle of the night... with my crush... to go skinny dipping in the pool off MLK Blvd. Daring, sexy, dangerous.

We had to hide from the cops, we had to run barefoot through mud and grass, and I had to fake like I could swim. (Lost some cool points on that one, started gulping for air before I came up and damn near needed mouth-to-mouth... but hey, it's an opportunity in its own, no?)

What a perfect setting for a first kiss. It was definitely the most memorable I've had to date. Too bad he used that opportunity to mention that he was engaged... needless to say, we didn't go skinny dipping again. But what great fun while it lasted!

Fun in the sun-- be it with your love, your best group of friends, or even your furry companions is what the summer spirit is all about! Screw the holidays-- pass me a margarita!

Definitely my best summer memory to date with the chicks
was our BACHELORETTE PARTY CRUISE to the fabulous
BAHAMAS!!! There isn't much detail I can go into without
incriminating those who were there, but let's just say... if you
ever get the opportunity to go somewhere exotic, DO IT. Just beware... the cute little local boys are selling knock-offs too, no matter how hot their accents are. Who cares, fall for it anyway. Of course, I am a sucker for accents and winking locals. I was convinced I had bought 2 real "Cuban" cigars from a guy on the beach who "had to go, this is your last chance!"-- (and turned up again on the same beach an hour later... should have tipped me off...) and was going to smuggle them back in my suitcase. I don't think I slept a full hour the night before we left, stressing so hard about getting caught, thrown in jail, paying thousands of fines, all for these taboo (and therefore necessary!) cigars. To be honest, I don't even know if they were CIGARS, much less Cubans, but I had myself convinced by the time we went to customs they had handcuffs ready for me. I can't even describe the feeling of relief that overcame me when I saw my suitcase waiting for me, still in one piece, and not a single angry customs agent to boot. I'll be honest, I felt pretty damn cool. That is... until my brother pointed out that the labels were misspelled...

Alright, so I've just publicly posted 2 of my most embarrassing-- but fabulous!!-- summer stories. We know you have more, and we can't wait to hear!! Post up your best summer stories, and check back often to laugh and reminisce!

Thursday Funnies - Baby

I'm so gonna do this to my kids. Funny.

Spoiled Much?

So, I was at the store today buying our new puppy a pool...
Yes, I admit it, I bought MY DOG a swimming pool. I do not have a swimming pool, but Cooper, a 4 month old Golden Retriever does. I do not think this is what the store had in mind when they decided to advertise and sell "kiddie pools," but whatever.
...Anyways, it got me to thinking about all of the things we do for our pets -toys, treats, an endless array of training tools, I could go on and on. My dogs have attended more ski trips than most Americans. What can I say, I love them, and if I can bring them along, I do.
My mom says she is scared for me to have children because of the way my dogs live -am I alone in this, or is this normal? Do you spoil your pets?

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

Today is Mother's Day, the one day a year we get to offer thanks to some of the most under appreciated workers on the planet. If you haven't yet, call your mom and tell her you love her!

I was reading Post Secret today, and some of the cards made me laugh, more made me want to cry. All of them made me remember how lucky I am, and I realized that I owe my mom (and a few other moms) a big thank you!

Favorite Memories and Things I Want To Thank My Mom For:

• Shopping until we wanted to drop, and then going to "one more store
• For sending me to Europe instead of sending herself
• For teaching me that while they may not truly be a girl's best friend, diamonds sure are fun to look at
  
• For teaching me the value of experience -travel, the arts, great food, the beauty of where we live, and more
  
• Sharing meals at our favorite restaurants
• For standing behind, supporting, and cheering me on for every single want, need, or passion I've taken on over the years, there have been some crazy ones!
  
• A shared love for Coach bags, warm beaches, pedicures, a good book, and great food
• Endless chauffeuring -lessons, ski trips, drop-offs at the mall, friends houses, and many more
• Care packages in college
• St. Thomas, Maui, Mexico, Europe, the Bahamas, and all of the places in between
  
• Getting all dolled up and going out to a swanky dinner and the theatre
• Laughing at me instead of strangling me when I thought I was too cool for everything (I know there were some moments where strangling me would've been MUCH easier)
• A willingness to drive four hours to stay with me when Adam was out of town and I was too chicken to stay home alone
• My mom, scraping, scrubbing, and painting our "project house" -just so I wouldn't have to live somewhere so icky for so long
• Her willingness to drive three hours just to hang out with me now
• Her, chasing my crazy little brother around the house with a spatula, because he broke the wooden spoon
• Painting my living room when I couldn't
• Helping me choose the perfect wedding dress
• Driving to Vail for my surgery, and not making too much fun of me while I was still medicated, and then staying with us to help take care of the house so Adam didn't have to
• Birthday parties -from pool parties when I was little, to the dreaded pre-teen slumber parties
• Getting snowed in up in the mountains with $1.45 between us for Taco Bell
  
• The nights we stayed up late talking in St. Thomas, laughing until we cried
• For being the best Mother of the Bride ever
• For letting me "figure it out for myself" -bad friends and even worse boyfriends, college, big bangs, bad clothes, and everything in between
• For ALWAYS being there, even if it wasn't so convenient -school events, bad days, breakups, and everything in between
• For giving Dustin and me one more chance, even when we probably didn't deserve it
  
• Have I mentioned the passion for travel experiences?
  
• For being not only a friend to me, but also to all of my friends
• For doing a such a good job that I want to be a mom too
  
• I could go on and on, but mostly, thank you for being YOU! I love you Mom!
  

**Also, thanks to Wendy, Pat, Linda, and all the other moms that have helped mother me over the years!!

Share your favorite mom memories with us, and then send your mom the link to read all the reasons you are grateful to have her around!

Help Save Shelter Pets!

Please help save homeless shelter cats and dogs by playing a simple trivia game. Each correct answer sends food to shelters to help save innocent pet lives.
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Thursday Funnies

This is unbelievably hilarious.
"I think we're dead. Time is going by really, really, really, really slow."

Share Your Worst!!

"I lost my number... can I have yours?"
"Are you tired? Cuz you've been running through my mind all day!"
"Nice outfit... It would look better on my floor..."
In the spirit of disgusting pick up lines (see the post below!) Mind Candy invites you to share your worst pick up line. Give us the worst you've ever gotten... or God forbid, the worst you've ever used!!!

Quite possibly... The. Worst. (Pick up line) EVER.

**Names and locations have been changed to protect the innocent and violated**

So a friend of mine was enjoying an evening downtown with friends and associates, when he left the crowd to visit the Men's room. Suddenly in the hallway, he was accosted by a female that he cannot describe (due to mental duress from the below mentioned exchange). Then, unfortunately... this happened.

Scary Girl: You're so hot, you're probably sweating like mofo under that shirt!

Anonymous Friend: "uh, what?"

SG: You're so hot, you're just drenched.

AF: "I'm sorry, what?"

And then she proceeded to turn around and violate him in the groinail area with her "endowed" behind...

My thoughts... WTF is WRONG with people??? Men, this is NOT. I repeat! NOT. somebody we claim as a member of the female mass. And if this is "YOU" reading this... please. Don't do that again.