Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Amazing Story of Love and Friendship

Many of you may have seen the Youtube video of the Hugging Lion, but if you have not, please take a moment to watch.

The story begins with 2 artists in London who in 1969 purchased a lion cub from Harrod's department store. Captive in a very small cage, they decided they would give him a better life and raised him as their friend and companion. When he grew too big and they were unable to continue caring for him, they decided to reintroduce him to Africa in hopes of rehabilitating him back into a normal life in the wild. In doing so, they were told that Christian would readapt to being a fully wild animal, and would forget who they were.

The two men waited a year, and then traveled five thousand miles to Africa in hopes of finding Christian again. The following video is footage of the lion as their pet, and then the reunion between the lion and his two friends the following year.

This just proves that love knows no bounds, and true friendships last forever.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

STD, Parasite, or Bilirubin Issue?

While talking to a coworker about a weekend at the lake with her dog...

coworker: "what if he got gonorrhea from the lake?"

me: "you mean giardia?"

coworker: "yeah, that"

15 minutes later...

same coworker: "what is it called again? jaundice?"

me: "no honey, giardia"

You can't make this shit up..

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Enlightenment, Via The Repo Man

So. This morning started off with an email to the family informing us that my uncle has a 6cm malignant tumor. He will be having surgery within 7 days and "options for treatment will be discussed." He has known about this tumor for weeks but decided not to tell anybody, other than people on his prayer trees at church. These people apparently did not include immediate family, as my father (his brother) got the news the same way I did today. Not a fantastic start to the day.
To compound the issue of not dealing with this news very well is an overwhelming stress smothering me at the moment due to being broke-down-broke. I get paid on Friday. This means, thanks to Murphy and his stupid Law, that my car will blow up, my animals will need an emergency vet, and I will get fired-- on Thursday.
I am now both broke and very very worried.
As I am sitting at my desk, forcing myself to do my horrible mid-year review, I realize that I cannot remember if I had turned on the fan for my dog today. It's going to be in the 90's and she will not be very happy. And now that I think of it... did I check her water? Already having the dread of a vet visit I can't afford, I decide it's best to go home on my lunch hour and check, just to be safe.
As I said, the weather was in the 90's. I also mentioned that my car may decide to blow up, and I have reason to believe this- it's been running extremely hot, and my air conditioning is completely fried. This means that when the weather is hot, my car runs hotter, and I have to drive with the heater on to try to cool it off. Needless to say, by the time I got home, I was medium-rare with a crispy shell.
Good news, the dog was fine. She had her water, she had her fan, and wouldn't you know- there were Chinese leftovers in the fridge for lunch. Well, hot damn. This lifted my spirits... slightly.
On the way back to work, not only does the radiator light come on, but so does my gas light. I have 2 tanks empty and 2 days until I get paid. This SUCKS. Well... I guess that last $20 is spoken for now. I am back to cranky. And I am very, very hot.
My sister calls as I am pulling in to the parking lot at work, wanting to know what I was calling for that morning (when I feared my entire family had left me to go to the Springs to see my uncle and forgot to remember me). She was irritated I would suggest such a thing. I was irritated back. They might have done it. Whatever. As I am hanging up the phone and turning to the left, my delicious Chinese lunch rolls off of the seat and explodes all over the passenger floor boards. I parked. And then I cried. This day isn't even half over, and I can't begin to imagine what the grand finale is going to be to this one!
My coworker and friend (who is also a car guru, bless his heart) witnesses my re-entrance and is quite alarmed. I huffed an explanation of the teriyaki trainwreck and the purple sweaty complexion. I was pissy. I hucked my NOT lunch into the trash and threw myself into my chair. That's when I remembered I'd left my pop in the car. I'd be lucky if it wasn't molten by the time I got back out there. That was pretty much the way this day was going to go.
That was until I looked outside and saw something that happens occassionally around here... the Repo Man was out front with an unfortunate blue Mazda hooked up by the chin. Two guys were stringing traffic lights along the back of it, in preparation for the Tow of Shame. Wow. Now THAT SUCKS. Hmm. Whoever's car that is might even be having more suck than my day. No, they're for sure having a way suckier day. It might not be running right, but least my car will still BE there. I sat down again with most of my anger depleated. Shortly afterwards, my friend from the parking lot quietly showed up at my desk with half of his ham & cheese sandwich, claiming that he was too full to finish it. Big fat liar. I nearly wept. It was one of the best ham sammies ever.
After work, I got a few drops of gas for tomorrow, and a jug of coolant with the last $20 that I was still lucky enough to have. I poured them both into the car I was still lucky enough to drive. Sometimes I don't feel my best either, I guess it can have its days too.
When I came back into the office for some overtime, to make some money, to replenish my aching bank account, I stopped by the vending machines. There were 2 side by side, and they both had Big Grab bags of Cheez-It's. One machine had them for 1.25... and the other had them for 75 cents. I felt like I was getting away with highway robbery. I giggled like a demon. And later on this evening, I will have a couple precious hours with a very good looking man and a frosty beer. I guess it's not been such a terrible day after all.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

%$*#^ Gas Prices

1996: My Honda Accord cost TWELVE DOLLARS to fill with premium.

2008: My Honda Accord cost SEVENTY DOLLARS to fill -with the "cheap" stuff.


Monday, July 7, 2008

Gotta Love Him

Husband: "I'm just really in a funk right now..."

Me: "I'm sorry, that is no fun."

Husband: "Eh, I'll figure it out. I just need to make some changes."

Me: "Would you feel better if I showed you my boobs?"

Husband: "Probably."

My Greatest Lego Moment Ever (via Cap'n Jones)

So we received a comment on E's post about the awesomeness of Lego's and asked for people's best Lego moments ever. One response we received from Cap'n Jones was just too good to leave buried in the comments section and had to be posted itself for the enjoyment of the masses. For your reading pleasure:

When I was a child, I was a Lego prodigy. I mean it. I didn't do much of anything else to be honest. While all the other kids were playing tee ball and learning to skateboard, I was tucked quietly away in the corner of my bedroom, building a version of what I call the "Lego demise" that you cannot even comprehend.

The setting for this moment began around Christmas time. I had just unwrapped the ultimate gift from Mr. Claus....the Legoland Forestman's Hideout.

Best. Present. Ever. Period.

I unwrapped the present, and I immediately knew what it was. I tore into it right then and there, determined to build the hideout before I opened any other gifts. I pulled out all the Lego’s, sorted them (as any experienced Lego engineer would) by color, then type. It was at that time that my dreaded nightmare…the day I hoped would never come to fruition…began:

My grand father wanted to help “little baby Jones” put this “dang ol thing” together.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I despise my grand parents. I just hated, and I mean HATED the idea of someone trying to manage a project…something of this unbelievable magnitude, with no experience. And, this wasn’t the first time someone tried to baffle my progress with silly nuisances like instructions, foresight, and reasonable timelines. What!?!?! This is fucking LEGO LAND! This is the only sacred ground that Lego engineers had left! I wouldn’t stand for it. I decided to fight back.

“Grandpa, here are the instructions” I said calmly to him.

I had set a trap for him. I set the bait, and waited as patiently as a 5 year old kid could for him to take a nibble at the bait I presented.

It seemed like months went by…tick tock….tick tock. Then it happened.

“Sure thing, let me get a hold of these instructions and I’ll show you how this is done boy” My grandpa said, as he took the bait.

“FISH ON!!!!” I thought to myself. I couldn’t believe my plan worked. As I handed him the instructions, I took the box back. The box contained all my little hands and head needed… the parts, and the picture of the finished product.

Five minutes passed. The instructions were opened and displayed as they should be (for a rookie….sheesh) and my grand father was ready to begin.

“You ready to tackle this son?” He said, as he turned around.

“Grandpa, thanks, but I’m done!?” I said, rejoicing inside.

“How the….what the….no instructions…My lord son, that was fast..”

My grandpa was baffled. He didn’t understand how someone could get something done that fast without instruction, and guidance.

I smiled, and played dumb. He didn’t need to know that my plan was a success. There was no need to hurt his feelings. I mean, it’s not like he wasn’t needed. He filled the political role of staring blindly at a set a prints beautifully. And, his marketing, it was genius. He not only sold the new fortress well, but the complements about my idiot savant ways were an addition only he could have conjured.

I learned two lessons that day that still haunt me. First, Lego’s aren’t a toy. Legoland is the premier place where builders go to be uninhibited by garbage politics and relentless processes that inhibit innovation. Second, for 25 years I’ve been striving to recreate a real life version of the Legoland Forestman's Hideout (set 6054 if you’re doubting me) and I still continue to have the same problems. Well, that and I can’t find any land with conveniently placed round tabs to connect my blocks to.

Toodles, Cap’n Jones


It is official, I've let myself go. I had been worried that moving to the mountains and getting married might have this undesirable side effect, but the full impact of my actions wasn't realized until I went to a party for a co-worker this past Saturday.

The hostess opened the door, took one look at me with makeup on and my hair done and blinked. Twice. And then said "wow, you look great!"

Me: "heh, yeah, I showered... And put on some mascara... And clean clothes. Apparently I haven't done that in a while?"

She made a quick recovery, as my husband snickered in the background.

Anyone want to donate a spa day for this poor girl who's been living in the sticks too long?

Friday, July 4, 2008

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Like this? Vote!

My sister in law is an amazing photographer! She took this adorable photo of Cooper, and currently has many more showcased on Check out her work here, and if you like what you see, vote!!