Insanity

Just got back from a week in Wisconsin to visit family -lots to write about, but not enough time right now. Here's a teaser: new babies, old feuds, an afternoon at the hospital, and a great day on the lake enjoying the fall colors. And to top it all off, we came home to a busted water heater and a wet crawl space. Oh, the joys of adulthood...

Whew, I'm getting exhausted at the thought of things. I need a Valium.

I've Realized...

That I'm not voting for the McCain/Palin trainwreck.
Didn't really plan on voting for these two anyways, but this has sealed my decision.
Redwings? Really? I don't think so.

Image courtesy of CNN

%$*#^ Gas Prices

1996: My Honda Accord cost TWELVE DOLLARS to fill with premium.

2008: My Honda Accord cost SEVENTY DOLLARS to fill -with the "cheap" stuff.

WTF?

Damn...

It is official, I've let myself go. I had been worried that moving to the mountains and getting married might have this undesirable side effect, but the full impact of my actions wasn't realized until I went to a party for a co-worker this past Saturday.

The hostess opened the door, took one look at me with makeup on and my hair done and blinked. Twice. And then said "wow, you look great!"

Me: "heh, yeah, I showered... And put on some mascara... And clean clothes. Apparently I haven't done that in a while?"

She made a quick recovery, as my husband snickered in the background.

Anyone want to donate a spa day for this poor girl who's been living in the sticks too long?

Munch Mouth Strikes Again!

I need to unf*ck my attitude, and I need to do it quick. If I allow this aggression to build up any further, I may or may not slap the silly out of a coworker and may or may not lose my job. While it's not worth losing my livlihood over (not much is, really), I still need to get this off of my chest. Hopefully you guys are on board with that.

So the nastiest thing in the world to me is having to listen to somebody eat. I'm not talking about enjoying a meal with good company, I'm not even talking about being in a cafeteria with overly enthusiastic lunchers. I'm talking about being confined to a 3x3 cage while the person behind me is making little yummy noises. Constantly munching. With her mouth open. I am so not getting the point across here... she eats like a f*cking wild animal, people. I'm talking ridiculous. But this is not all. No... this is only the beginning. Allow me to paint for you a picture.

First of all, she has a reputation around the entire office, so it's not just me. After any kind of potluck or work-sponsored picnic, or anything that would have a massive amount of food for the entire workforce, she carries usually 2 or 3 plates back up to her desk, heaping full. After the functions are over, she leaves with enormous volumes of leftovers. I am not kidding. We had a barbque recently, and she took home an ENTIRE catering-sized pan FULL of baked beans. Nasty in itself. We had Chick-Fil-A come by with free sandwiches one day. She sat here and ate SIX of them. People think it's a joke, they tease her all the time about being able to out-eat any competition possible. So are you picturing a 300 pound femme-monster? Not even a little bit close. She *might* weigh 98 pounds, soaking wet, with her shoes on. (Of course, another reason to hate her.) However, all of these things don't hold a candle to the noises that fly out of the woman when she is consuming her mountains of nutrition. I couldn't think of a way to describe it, until I was standing next to my animals as I laid breakfast before them. The carnage that ensued is the closest thing I have ever heard, and they still have better manners than she does. At least they have an excuse for not covering their mouths when they burp, their little paws just don't move in that direction. She, however, has limbs that seem to work just fine, and yet... {{shudder}}.

As if that wasn't bad enough- headphones at high volumes will cover the soundtrack of a village feast, but it doesn't end there, friends. No, she finishes whatever she had to begin with (nearly consuming the styrofoam plate in the process), and then turns her eye to whatever somebody around her might have. She's not so blatent to ask "are you done with that?" but hints that she would probably enjoy your breakfast burrito much more than you, and would be happy to should you not want it. Ambrosio (see comments from previous posts) recently had a large bowl of something like Cup O Noodles for lunch. You would never know, because like most people, he can eat food without making it a public spectacle. However, since Munch Mouth had her radar out, she leans over his wall (mid-bite), and exclaims "that smells delicious!" Because this subtlety didn't earn her any prizes, she turned it up a notch. "Maybe I should get one of those... unless you have more?" No. No I do not. (Pointed look.) But since she assumes that everybody is her friend and finds her as adorable as she finds herself, she takes no offense and just turns to other lunchers to find another opportunity.

I will conclude this rant (thank you for your time) because it is now lunch time and I have to go scope out a secure area to protect myself from an attack. One last thing. If you are the office Munch Mouth... stop it. We beg you.

WTF is Wrong With People?

"Boyfriend busted for leaving tot locked in car while he hits strip club"

I sure hope this kid's mom dumped this loser on his ass. Who does this? Apparently, the mom of a 3-year-old gave her boyfriend $20 to take her daughter to dinner while she was at work. Instead, this ass locked the kid in the car, only cracking a window while he stopped in at Shotgun Willie's for a lapdance. The best part? He used the kid's dinner money to pay his admission.

How do you even teach people this stupid?

Suck

The sun is shining at my house right now, so I put on some flip flops in celebration of spring and headed to work. Just 20 miles away, it is SNOWING at my office -on my freshly painted toes! Not cool.
Gotta love Colorado...

I Think...

Passive aggressive behavior irritates the hell out of me.
That is all.